I've been going through a devotional named "The Hardest 30 Days of your Life" I usually have a hard time getting in to daily books like that, I'm not sure why. Maybe it was because when I was younger and they never held my interest, whatever the reason this study has been an exception, it sucked me in, stretched me broke me, and made me grow. One of the challenges was to go on a 21 day media fast. No TV, movies, secular music or internet. I guess you never realize how attached you are to things like that until you drop them all, the hardest was the internet and music...my dog got more walks and my homework got done earlier than normal I also spent more time reading which is something I have missed. After all was said and done I'm so happy I did it, it was refreshing, I feel like I woke up a little. My thoughts seem different, my attitude. The media can be such a downer, demanding we live up to what they are, that we own what they own that we live how they live...even if you don't give in or believe it it can effect you. Take a break, try it, even if its only for a week.
And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.... Romans 12:2
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Growing Pains.
I asked God to stretch me, to help me grow in wisdom, love and strength of heart and spirit. It is intereting how God chooses to do things. It never seems to be the most pleasant way, pain, weakness and sorrow usually bring the largest change or growth. Sometimes I wish it could be different but I've come to understand that its more appreciated after coming through the storm. I have no doubt that God has a beautiful plan for me, a life more wonderful than I can even begin to imagine. I feel right now though as if I am only drifting, waiting for that life to begin. I wish his plan was more clear, I wish I knew which way to go, I want to make a difference, I want to help, just show me where....
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Misfit Blessings
:A Franciscan Benediction:
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them andTo turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor. Amen
I found this on a different blog and I thought I would spread the message a little further. I really like the last chunk. You never hear of foolishness explained as a gift from God...
May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart
May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.
May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them andTo turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor. Amen
I found this on a different blog and I thought I would spread the message a little further. I really like the last chunk. You never hear of foolishness explained as a gift from God...
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Falling Over
I think Fall is my favorite season and though its not here yet, it will be soon. This fall is bringing a lot with it but I think I'm ready. This summer I've learned a lot, about me, about people around me and about life in general. I've grown and although I haven't finished everything I started at the begining of the summer I've made good progress and I don't plan on slowing down. The thing about growing is it isn't easy and it hurts sometimes. This summer hasn't been the easiest but its been worth it.
I'm just a preschool teacher and college student. It doesn't feel like I can do much good, like I can make much of a difference or an impact right now, however, remember, Peter was just a fisherman and he changed the world.
I'm just a preschool teacher and college student. It doesn't feel like I can do much good, like I can make much of a difference or an impact right now, however, remember, Peter was just a fisherman and he changed the world.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
The Next Road On Your Left : Destiny
"As often happens the detour often ends up being your destino, your destiny." Sandra Cisneros
It was a hot summer day and my cousin Mauren and I were sitting under the huge walnut tree in my aunts yard. I was 11 or 12, she was much older, 20 or 21. I was dreaming out loud about getting my drivers licence. I told her that when I got it I was going to drive down every road I had never been on. She laughed and said that I sounded like her when she was younger. I told her I wanted to see everything I hadn't seen. Of course I still haven't driven down every road, I haven't even gone down all of the country roads surronding my little town. I like it though, when I am driving and hit a detour that takes me somewhere new and I like when I pass a road I haven't been down and I have a few extra minutes to turn and ride a little ways before I continue on my way. You never know what you will find, a river, a field, a tree that looks climable, or maybe all of the above being destroyed for yet another new subdivision. What ever it is it is nice to see a little more of the world (unless it is a new subdivision) and expand the horizons of what I know exists.
It was a hot summer day and my cousin Mauren and I were sitting under the huge walnut tree in my aunts yard. I was 11 or 12, she was much older, 20 or 21. I was dreaming out loud about getting my drivers licence. I told her that when I got it I was going to drive down every road I had never been on. She laughed and said that I sounded like her when she was younger. I told her I wanted to see everything I hadn't seen. Of course I still haven't driven down every road, I haven't even gone down all of the country roads surronding my little town. I like it though, when I am driving and hit a detour that takes me somewhere new and I like when I pass a road I haven't been down and I have a few extra minutes to turn and ride a little ways before I continue on my way. You never know what you will find, a river, a field, a tree that looks climable, or maybe all of the above being destroyed for yet another new subdivision. What ever it is it is nice to see a little more of the world (unless it is a new subdivision) and expand the horizons of what I know exists.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Summer of Question and Answer
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”-Theodore Geisel
Senior year in high schoool was the year a huge piece of me stopped caring what other people thought of me. I was still shy and a somewhat insecure but I told myself I wanted the year to be a good one. I didn't want to look back and wish I had been more involved or talked to more people or see that I had spent too much time worrying about the opinions of a bunch of people I hardly knew or would hardly see after we graduated. Now, a few years later, looking back I did have a good senior year and I did stop caring to some extent. So here I am now. I want to get over that final hurdle, I want to be all myself all the tine. I want to be honest with the people I know so that our relationships can be deeper and fuller and better. I want to know myself, reafirm my beliefs and pick up all the lost pieces of me that have fallen over the years. I want to really discover who I am this summer. I want to plan my future and start to become the person I will be for the rest of my life. Not that that person is completely different from who I am now, I just want to be more sure of who I am so that I can be ready for whatever and whomever comes my way in life...
Senior year in high schoool was the year a huge piece of me stopped caring what other people thought of me. I was still shy and a somewhat insecure but I told myself I wanted the year to be a good one. I didn't want to look back and wish I had been more involved or talked to more people or see that I had spent too much time worrying about the opinions of a bunch of people I hardly knew or would hardly see after we graduated. Now, a few years later, looking back I did have a good senior year and I did stop caring to some extent. So here I am now. I want to get over that final hurdle, I want to be all myself all the tine. I want to be honest with the people I know so that our relationships can be deeper and fuller and better. I want to know myself, reafirm my beliefs and pick up all the lost pieces of me that have fallen over the years. I want to really discover who I am this summer. I want to plan my future and start to become the person I will be for the rest of my life. Not that that person is completely different from who I am now, I just want to be more sure of who I am so that I can be ready for whatever and whomever comes my way in life...
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Short Lived Lilacs
"It takes some tears to make it rust and it takes the rust to have it polished."
-Jason Mraz-Life Is Beautiful-
Life is beautiful. Through the tears, the laughs, the fights, the hugs and the high fives. It was a good week. I felt free. More free then I have in a long time. Tonight at six the real world hits. School starts again, I have to go back to work. I have to make decisions about what to do with the rest of my life. I'll get tired and frustrated and I'll feel like giving up and giving in. However, when the whirl wind starts I'll have this week to look back on, the memories, the inside jokes, the conversations, and the bruises on my shins...and hopefully I'll be able to feel it all again and use it to keep going. When Caitlin is around I feel like everything fits. We feed off of each other and fill in each other's gaps. We have different opinions about certain things but its okay because we hear each other out and understand. Six years is a long time and 2 or 3 visits is not very many but I know that we will always be. The core of our friendship won't ever change. Even after we have traveled and grown we will always be able to come back and sit on the hill and feel like all is right.
-Jason Mraz-Life Is Beautiful-
Life is beautiful. Through the tears, the laughs, the fights, the hugs and the high fives. It was a good week. I felt free. More free then I have in a long time. Tonight at six the real world hits. School starts again, I have to go back to work. I have to make decisions about what to do with the rest of my life. I'll get tired and frustrated and I'll feel like giving up and giving in. However, when the whirl wind starts I'll have this week to look back on, the memories, the inside jokes, the conversations, and the bruises on my shins...and hopefully I'll be able to feel it all again and use it to keep going. When Caitlin is around I feel like everything fits. We feed off of each other and fill in each other's gaps. We have different opinions about certain things but its okay because we hear each other out and understand. Six years is a long time and 2 or 3 visits is not very many but I know that we will always be. The core of our friendship won't ever change. Even after we have traveled and grown we will always be able to come back and sit on the hill and feel like all is right.
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